This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
