Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
