his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You pole danced in your parka.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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