my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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