i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
