So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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