I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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