You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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