i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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