its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
someone owes me an orgasm
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
