It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
