I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
