So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
