remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
