I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
