So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
