You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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