god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
