So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
