He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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