i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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