i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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