Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
