so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
