i just wanna soil my oats bro
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
