they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
