you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
