What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
