Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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