just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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