I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
