Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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