You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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