Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
