erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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