my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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