so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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