I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
