put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
