I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
