some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
