Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
