need another drink. this is the easiest way
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
