Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
