I must be too annoying 4 u.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
