i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
