i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
