I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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