I wannas sexs uuuuu
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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