What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
