Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
